Family Rivalry Enthusiast Gifts

"A phony attorney…I'm so disappointed, son. Your brother is a phony doctor."

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

You were warned about mixed marriages.

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

'This won't take long, nurse. This is the dog that got my best friend last summer.'

"Yin and Yankee fan"

'Geez, Dad! You never scream your lungs out at the refs! Don't you love me?!'

'Mum, she pulled my mane!'

Lion v Kiwi.

Strikeout Dog

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

"I thought they decided who was the best team last year?"

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Stop crying or Mom will think we're not having fun!'

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

A dog cruising around in his car looking for cats, sporting his number of kill badges of cats on the side of his car.

"The mainstream media has entered into a global conspiracy to make us less popular than dogs."

Little Brother for Sale, 'I don't care what he did!'

'The only reason I take him with me wherever I go, is because the thought of kissing him goodbye makes me feel sick!'

'And you need some reading material,eh?'

The fight ends, the hockey players flee, and the curling team once again rules the ice rink.

"If he's a little bundle of joy, shouldn't he be laughing?"

"There's more than one way to skin a cat!" - Book signing.

Things that don't last 2 seconds...the idea that your l'il sis might actually be good at something.

"..Just bring me anything that'll scare my little sister"

Spectators at a coliseum

'Your second cousin won a Nobel Prize in physics, and you don't know how gravity works?'

'Have you got the price of an icecream on you'