Family Rival Mugs

'Your second cousin won a Nobel Prize in physics, and you don't know how gravity works?'

"I'm gonna be an artist!"

"I don't think much of this calendar your mum sent!"

Tension filled the tent.

Polygamists' Picnic

"He's my smart-aleck twin."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

"Good work Tim, you snatch it all: none of this sharing with your brother nonsense..."

'The grudge match.'

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

"Greta, look! The first dysfunctional family of winter!"

An Archeologic Dig

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

'As your doctor, I'd strongly advise that you not laugh at your wife when you beat her at tennis!'

"I love spending time together as a family. It brings us together. It makes us stronger. It helps us understand each other."

'Her next door is LIVID - her husband's only got a septic big toe!'

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

'Mum, she pulled my mane!'

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

'I suppose this puts my new bike on the back burner?'

'At first I wanted a brother, but I've changed my mind... I want a puppy now.'

'Oh yeah, well your dad may have a better calculator, but my dad can add without one.'

'How do you expect them to treat you in a mature way with that thing in your mouth?'

'Take it from someone with experience. . . you can't go throwing tantrums until you've at least tossed a few.'

'Mom! - Jeffrey just said a DADDY word!!'

"A phony attorney…I'm so disappointed, son. Your brother is a phony doctor."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

'Stop crying or Mom will think we're not having fun!'

"Mom always liked you best."