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Cruisin' for a Bruisin'

'She posted her first blog today.'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet.""This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet."

'Your mom is probably watching. Go for the jugular.'

"'Course I've seen one before...but never one that ate peanuts!"

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"Do you have to do that even when it's not Valentine's Day?"

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

Welsh Dragon

"And this is Joshua, he'll be a hundred and forty-seven months next week."

'Has he been out with your mother by any chance?'

"These are wonderful, precious years before he learns that he's benefitting from institutional racism."

Loving family

Reflected Glory

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

"Here are all of my dependents."

'I'm really tired of hearing about her pious children, the angel food cake.'

'Hey, wait a minute!'

'We can't win. Mum keeps telling us to play quietly, and when we do, she thinks we're up to something!'

"Isn't that adorable?"

Going to the pub with kids...

Freak Family.

'Miss Harrison said it's a better report than the ones you used to get when you were in her class.'

"He's two onths old and already drooling at a four-month-old level."

'Where it asks, 'head of household'. . . who is it. . . you or Marmaduke?'

"All it says is 'loyal and trustworthy friend', but that's not the real me."

Family wearing shin guards to protect against the kid in a play car.

I'm Proud of my Gay Son!....I'm Proud of my Cross-Dressing Dad.

'I think I've just been touched by the ‘feel-good' movie of the year.'

Biting Zoo

Whatever you do, don't ask him about his children… God's wallet.

"Accepting the applause for Mr. Fontana—Mr. Fontana's mother."