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"And so, then, you'll never guess what happened."

Freak Family.

My First Camera

At the market

'She posted her first blog today.'

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"Why do leaves change color?"

This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet.""This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet."

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"'Course I've seen one before...but never one that ate peanuts!"

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

Holiday Travel.

'Can you read this one for me? I have a book report on it tomorrow.'

"Careful George. You don't want to hurt our baby boy."

'Quit playing kick ball with your brother!'

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

'Has he been out with your mother by any chance?'

"These are wonderful, precious years before he learns that he's benefitting from institutional racism."

'Look, mom! They ran out of trick or treat candy, so they gave us these kittens!'

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

'Hey, wait a minute!'

Mom - You gave me the best years of your life.

'We can't win. Mum keeps telling us to play quietly, and when we do, she thinks we're up to something!'

Going to the pub with kids...

"We moved here for the schools."

"Dad! Woody's taking all the fun out of the Easter egg hunt!"

My dad's teaching me how to mow the lawn, fish and use the grill, I'm teaching how to Google, text and use an ipod.

"Somehow, Daniel, you're not as cute as you used to be, and you're beginning to lose our attention."

"If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a 'roommate,' how many uncles does Heather have?"

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."

Sharing sweets with dad.

'Ready? Everybody freeze...'