Family Meeting Veteran Gifts

"Dad, this is Keith. Keith works in the timber industry."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

Tartine

"Being raised in the city, Fred didn’t quite grasp the true purpose of a game camera."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

'What would your mum say if she saw you drawing all over the wall like that?'

The Zoo.

Barbequer wears apron with 'Beer in -beer out' slogan.

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

If you bathe a skunk in tomato juice, it will smell like a dog. A bird in the hand is better than two in your shorts. Never wear aqua after Thanksgiving. Unconventional wisdom.

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

"There was no other choice, Mom. It was a double dog dare."

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

Can't Do the Math/Won't Do the Math.

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

Christmas Tree

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

'He went in for the Worst Singer and won first prize in the Gurning competition at the same time!'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'That last meeting was a complete turn-off.'

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"Hi-yah!"

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

"Mom! Don't think of me as covered with sand. Think of me as sugar coated."

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

True confessions.