Family Meal Conductor Gifts

Mom's Diner - We reserve the right to refuse service to naughty boys!

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Chez Nous Menu

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

A man and baby wearing bibs

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of human kindness, deleted your mother's recipe for peppers and meat loaf.'

"I'm stuffed. But in a good way."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

'I couldn't practice last night on account of my Dad's head was gonna' explode.'

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

"So...that's B11, C8, F5, and A3?"

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

"I mean, he does have a point."

"Oh -- just scrape it off."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'Your mother spent a lot of time on this meal, so wag your tail even if you don't like it.'

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

'After you with the camouflage.'

'Well - how has everyone wasted time and energy today?'

'Mom, I followed your time-honored legendary family recipe for Brussels Spout Bake with one exception - I substituted a pizza for the Brussels Sprouts.'