Family Meal Architect Gifts

We are in the middle of a nationwide health-care crisis, eat your broccoli!

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Chez Nous Menu

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

Family Salutes as Father Comes Home.

A man and baby wearing bibs

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of human kindness, deleted your mother's recipe for peppers and meat loaf.'

"I'm stuffed. But in a good way."

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

"Mum, why can't we just have a normal Sunday roast like other families?"

"Mom told me to make my vegetables disapear."

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

Non-wall St merger: Mom's Home Cooking...Pop's Cafe!

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'After you with the camouflage.'

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

'For the last time, Megan, she won a blue ribbon at the Imperial Valley Fair... I mean, my hands are tied here.'

'Your mother spent a lot of time on this meal, so wag your tail even if you don't like it.'

Pregnancy Test

"Mom, Eugene picked all the peanuts off the pizza!"

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

"I mean, he does have a point."

"Honestly, all three of them were mistakes."

"So...that's B11, C8, F5, and A3?"