Family Life Strategists Pillows

'Are you trying to tell me that you don't want to go to school?'

'Wow! I never thought it would actually WORK!'

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

I figured out how we can pay for the kids' college tuitions. Do tell. I'm going to leave for a year of self-discovery, which I will chronicle in a best-selling memoir. Oh, but

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

'Change is inevitable, espeically when you have a newborn in diapers."

Grounded

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Sitting Up'

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

By teaching the parrot a few key phrases, Marilyn no longer needs to nag her kids.

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

"I know he's little, but he uses it."

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

There, but for the grace of God, go I.

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

"I like it; but let's make sure we can get the domain name first."

'Except...That.'

'Text your father and tell him I'm not talking to him!'

"Honey, please! I can’t concentrate with you in there being married to me!"

Live to work or work to live?

'It's our 10 year plan.'

Marriage Guidance - Give and Take

"Remember, a journey of a thousand miles begins with either two squares forward and one to the side, or two squares to the side and one forward."

Intentional Community vs. Community of Sheer Happenstance

'Sure raising my allowance is great, daddy but what I really want is power of attorney!!

"I raised three kids, so you could say I was in risk management."

'I'm married with five children.' - 'Sorry, we're looking for someone with sound judgement.'

'Hi, Mom. Meet my new significant other. My Prenup'

'Don't ask for anything.'

"We know you're in there, Mommy! We've got the bathroom surrounded!"

"I get the new phone, Timmy gets my phone, Annie gets his phone, Bobby gets her phone and you get his phone, dad, and you get to pay for it all."