Family Life Juggler T-Shirts

"There goes Daddy to the park again! And do you know what he does in the park? He sits! That's what he does. He sits! He goes to the park and just sits!"

'My wife won't listen to me, my kids won't listen to me...as my employee, Hawkins, you'd damn well better listen to me!'

Today's nervous breakdown occurred yesterday.

'It's 'bring your affiliates to work' day.'

"The small door's for the dog and the larger one's for the kids."

Fresh Food and Regurgitated

"How hard can it be to emancipate from your children?"

"Now will you knock it off with all the bird calls?"

"Mom said to put her on your 'Don't bother me I'm taking a bath' list!"

Decorating with Children

"The kids were late for school and it just stayed like that."

"You sure sigh a lot for somebody that doesn't contribute to this house or know what a government is."

"Clear my schedule for the next five minutes. I feel the need for some spontaneous frivolity."

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Work/Life Balance

Working hours.

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

'Don't worry about it. If at first we don't succeed, we can do it later and get paid time-and-a-half for it.'

Your Work/Life Balance Is Off. Shall I Auto-Correct?

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

Human Behavior Institute. Out Experiencing Lunch.

Laptop Dancing.

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

Woman with kids at husbands office.

The Great Pyramid of Paperwork

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

"First break since 2008."

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'