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Family courts.

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'Ignorance of the law is no excuse, especially when you're majoring in Law.'

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"We've also been given ten top employment law tips."

'I think I'll become a lawyer.'

Wal-Mart Ruling

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"Some school - They teach us about the Fifth Amendment, but they won't let us use it on TESTS!"

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

"I lost some intellectual property here last night. Anybody remember what the hell I was talking about?"

Violent Crime Statistics

'You got a search warrant, sheriff?'

"My parents are going to pay for my education but I'm on my own for any attorney's fees."

Lady Justice.

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"The ignorance of the lawyer is no excuse."

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

'Remember - do not try to plant the seeds from these apples. They're intellectual property, and they're copyrighted.'

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, my client blah blah...."

It Looks Like Trumpty Dumpty Got His Wall After All.

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

'I'm suing my way alphabetically through the phone book.'

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"Apparently, you have very little respect for our judicial system, sauntering in here with only one lawyer."

Baby's first words.

'I don't believe in pressuring my children. When the time is right, they'll arrive at the default choice and go to law school.'