Family In-joke Creator Gifts

Older cousin press

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'He has your nose and my ears.'

Baby sees bottle with math formula marked, 'Baby Formula'.

Rusty, not believing in God, seized his chance...

Raised by Dogs

'Roy! For the last time, don't wave that red one in front of your Dad.'

'Ever since I've started showing, my husband has affectionately called me 'Three Humps'...'

"Adopted? It's cute how you think we would've picked you."

'You're one of my kids? Really? I'm so sorry, I have so many it's hard to remember them all...'

Your Message on Your T-Shirt: 'Do As You Are Told!'

"Right now, grandmom's bark is definitely worse than her bite!"

Turn off your car stereo before trying to start your kid's car.

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

'I'm about to have a tantrum. What are you doing?'

'I AM a magician! When I wake up granddad from his nap, I turn Gramps into Grumps!'

MUM! I'll take the dog for a walk!

"Get me away from this crazy person..."

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

"And try not to spill Daddy's Martini, Caleb."

Great job on the color! Thanks. It looks totally natural. Hi, Twig! Hey. Success! She didn't notice. "Mom dyed her hair with Gatorade."

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

God bless our home equity line of credit.

Family Butcher.

"Honey! What's wrong. . . Mommy get you a band-aid!"

"So tell me, Wallace. Has someone gobbled up my Viagra again?" "No. Wait. I thought they were delicious candy mints!"

'You want to hear me speaking my first word? I don't say anything without my lawyer, mister!'

Tree's Tree Nursery. Get this. Dad is selling those goofy upside-down tomato planters. What idiot would buy them? Thanks! I'll let you know how it works! My idiotic bio teacher.

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

"Young man! You turn the gravity back on this instant!!"

"You're getting a nanny. We decided to outsource our parenting"

'Shh, let me do the talking.'

Mom $50 Pop $35

"Damn it, agree to whatever she demands. No matter what it takes, I want my mommy."

'You're making a marble cake? Did you run out of eggs?'