Family Holiday Fan Pillows

'Are you the guy who ate my brother?'

My First Camera

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

At the market

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"Anything but milk and cookies."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

Santa's wash day.

"'Course I've seen one before...but never one that ate peanuts!"

This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet.""This is Giselle, our bichon frise, and Fred, our legacy pet."

Easter Candy Island.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'One chatterbox, a natter natter and two shhhhh's please.'

Holiday Travel.

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

'Can you read this one for me? I have a book report on it tomorrow.'

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

'Look, mom! They ran out of trick or treat candy, so they gave us these kittens!'

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

'Has he been out with your mother by any chance?'

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

"These are wonderful, precious years before he learns that he's benefitting from institutional racism."

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

'Hey, wait a minute!'

Freak Family.

'No wonder you're more tanned than I am - you are nearer the sun!'

'We can't win. Mum keeps telling us to play quietly, and when we do, she thinks we're up to something!'

Going to the pub with kids...

"We moved here for the schools."

"I love Boxing Day"

My dad's teaching me how to mow the lawn, fish and use the grill, I'm teaching how to Google, text and use an ipod.

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."