Family History Explorer Gifts

"Aside from a limp, was there anything else different about dad?"

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

"The document states that you've been left your mother's jowls and upper arm flab."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

Family DNA

'You never met my father? Never mind, I'm turning into him!'

OOG & SONS HUNTING & GATHERING

'I've just discovered that one of my ancestors was a Security Goose for the Roman Army...'

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

'He's got your nose.'

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

Gone Fishing

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

"That's lovely darling, but I don't think that's what your teacher meant when she asked you to draw your family tree..."

Send us $2.00, and we'll send you Your Family Tree

"Your father would be able to afford to send you to a good college if only he had listened to me when he was your age!"

"My Aunt Agatha – feminist, civil rights activist, philanthropist, sound engineer for 'Cheap Trick at Budokan.'"

'I never saw a tracer bullet that I didn't admire for color, clarity and swiftness.'

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'I'm tracing my relatives.'

Peace in shackles.

'They're not out of focus. They're just fuzzy memories.'

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs (or bases), illustrating genetic inheritance within the family

"...I have the oddest 'earliest memory' and I wanted to share it. It's just as wekkm I guess. Knowing some man secretly attended my first birthday party has caused me to question my parentage all these years....Especially since Mother Park made me promise not to tell Father that the potted plant was acually J. Edgar Hoover."

Grimm's Fairytales - The Golden Bird

The best time capsules are our children.

Title page from 'The Scouring of the White Horse'.

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

"My dad was really good at showing me how to throw poo. He was just never any good at explaining exactly why I should be throwing it."

'Periodic table and avoirdupois weight of the Mendeleev family'

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

Robot Attack in Bath