Family History Detective Pillows

'According to this genealogy website, I'm 60,765228th in line to the throne!'

'Try searching Criminal Records for your father's family history.'

"And these are my ancestors, Sir Cecil the Chicken-Hearted and Sir Stanley the Stinky...we don't talk about them a lot!"

George's ancestry was unusual.

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

CIA report

$1: Family Secrets

Several generations live together in Cuba

Family DNA

"Could you tell me how to get to cedar grove, New Jersey? I want to see where my grandfather was born."

"Why mum, I didn't know that you had written a book."

'We were thinking of naming him after his daddy, but I don't really like the name, Old slap head.'

'I demand a DNA test.'

Harry S. Truman

'The big feet come from your side of the family.'

"These are my fish cymbalta, otezla, skyrizi, vraylar and stelara!"

"You're writing a memoir? You're seven years old. Do you honestly think you can capture the interest of readers with such a short—wait, is that my name?!"

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

Changes at home

'The suspense is killing us. Which one is our grandchild?'

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

Estate Sale! All the stuff my kids said they don't want to inherit.

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

'Well, isn't this nice? Three generations all sitting down together.'

"That's my dad back when he was, like, militarized."

The Ukraine, Europe and Fascism.

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

Frankenstein's Ancestry

Are your parents here? Spring play! I can't tell.

"Meeting old relatives...is like peeking into our future."

Bob began seeing his mother, who gave him up for adoption, professionally, three times a week. It didn't help much.

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

"I had a great weekend... My Grandpa talked about the war again and my Dad about his most daring facebook comments!"

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"This family seems to multiply every year."