Family Gatherings Aficionado Pillows

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

Polygamists' Picnic

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

One of Many California Gene Pools

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"And since when does being twenty-five and married and living in Dallas excuse you from a family meeting?"

The Cricket on the Hearth - Title-page to the first edition

"You remember Champ. . ."

'Are you still eating your breakfast? I want to lay the table for lunch.'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

"Do you think everyone hangs out with me because I'm cool and funny, or because I'm God."

"Mom, Dad – I’d like you to meet Edna."

"You need to get a move on vicar, you're doing the Christening in half an hour."

Take-Your-Child-To-Work-Day

"Either throw it back or try to catch another one."

"Your house is smaller than I remember it."

"Gracie, Christmas isn't about material possessions. It's about being together...as a family. We are the best gift we can give each other!"

"I'm thankful for not being a turkey."

Faith is good, health is okay, great family and friends, we live in America!

"Not again, buster!!!!!"

"We have spent the last six New Year's Eves with your mother. Isn't it time for a sabbatical New Year?"

An executioner practices beheading with his son on a tee-ball.

"I'm going to my Grandma's on Thanksgiving to pig out...and also be thankful."

'I mean, what's a mother for? We had our Thanksgiving early so I'm bringing my dinner here for you.'

"It's always the same at this time of year..."

"Do you remember when families used to get together and fight at Christmas?"

My brother in law, he gave us the shirt off his back, unfortunately he was still in it.