Family Firm Fan Gifts

Attorneys in deep

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

At the market

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

And I like to call this my 'dance of the enhanced PEP at alternative firms'.

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

"Baldo, why do you make fun of my playing?"

"We've doubled our staff in the last six months." (Smith and Smith - baby in playpen behind desk).

"You know, it really wasn’t that bad."

"Careful George. You don't want to hurt our baby boy."

'Can you read this one for me? I have a book report on it tomorrow.'

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

'Quit playing kick ball with your brother!'

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

"This is my son...I want him to work his way up all the way from the bottom- even if it takes all day."

'Hey, wait a minute!'

"We moved here for the schools."

'You know, in dog years, five is the new three.'

Mom - You gave me the best years of your life.

"Dad! Woody's taking all the fun out of the Easter egg hunt!"

"Clean your specs, lady?"

Freak Family.

'We can't win. Mum keeps telling us to play quietly, and when we do, she thinks we're up to something!'

My dad's teaching me how to mow the lawn, fish and use the grill, I'm teaching how to Google, text and use an ipod.

"Grandpa, if I ever decide to get involved in farming, it will be strictly as a commodities broker."

"Oh, now I remember you. You live in that big shoe on the corner."

'Wednesday wave.'

"If Heather has two mommies, and each of them has two brothers, and one of those brothers has another man for a 'roommate,' how many uncles does Heather have?"

"Somehow, Daniel, you're not as cute as you used to be, and you're beginning to lose our attention."

BIG BUSINESS: "He's going places in this company - his father owns it!"

"Luck, son, is when preparation meets nepotism."

'Let's play house. You be the stay-at-home dad, and I'll be the career mom.'

'Dad, can you just drop me off here?'