Family Feud Navigators Gifts

"Tom..Tom, you promised not to flame my parents..."

'How do you know I won't shrink if I didn't come with a washing instructions tag?'

'sugar and spice my eye.'

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

"Me? I thought you were raising them."

"Sergio, I think you've done a great job raising the children."

"Let's split up the jobs for taking care of the baby. I'll take care of what goes in to him. . . you take care of what goes out!"

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

"We've given it a great deal of thought and we decided we're going to give in to everything you want at all times."

Mother's Day: 2nd Sunday in May, Others Day: Every day before and after the 2nd Sunday in May.

Reason #149 for making sure the whole family wears seat belts: It helps keep the kids quiet.

"This baby will hold more than a hundred and twenty-five cubic feet of family rancor."

"Will you turn that TV down? Can't you see I'm on the phone?"

"You're a veteran? In which wars did you serve?"

Coping during the 6 weeks school holidays.

'No Jennifer! I never head of mad broccoli disease.'

"I'm sorry, Tom... but you don't Chronic Fatigue Syndrome if it only when you're going to see your inlaws."

"I have the kids Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. She has them Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Thursday they're free-range.

'I just don't understand... We hate the same movies, books, art, music, friends and relatives, and we agree that the world's a hopeless mess. With all that in common, why is our marriage falling apart?'

"No, we're not there yet because your father refuses to ask for directions!"

"The penalty for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law..."

'Would you like me to have a word with educational psychologist about Julie?'

"Meet your new baby brother! We decided to upgrade."

"I've been a mess since Jake left for college, so now we have a boy who comes in a couple of times a week to leave wet towels all over and challenge everything I say."

It's folks like Mildred who make collectibles collectable!

"He fights me when I tell him to take a nap. When I reword it and say go reboot, he doesn't have a problem."

'Well, I'm sorry. But your mother criticized my chicken casserole one too many times.'

Tantrum Scene Do Not Cross

"Dad's working out car charging points if we want to visit grandad."

Travelling with child Sketchbook - day 1

"Has anyone seen my half-chewed-up piece of dehydrated squirrel carcass?"

'Get real, Larry!'

"At least now when mom and dad fight it's quieter."

"Actually, I have all the action figures I can handle."