Family Dynamic Strategist Gifts

"Don't worry, it gets easier when they're 35."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

"Whoa. Someone needs their diaper changed."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

'If Mom says no, you ask Dad -- it's called the 'checks and balances' system.'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"All I ask is a chance to ruin my life in my own way."

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

'We can't move in with my parents - they've moved in with grandma!'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

"It's easy to understand the theory of evolution when you have a brother!"

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

"Mommy is having another baby. Let me assure you that any paradigm shift will be incremental, core values remain family-centric, and Mommy is committed to assimilation and building synergy."

"Act your birth order!"

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'