Family Dinner Maestro T-Shirts

"How sophisticated is Jeremy's palate?

Jack of all trades

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

At times Richard dreaded coming home, as he knew he'd have to face the music.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"Baby Jackson Pollock"

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

"I'd like to toast our guests."

'What'll it be?'

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"You've all been like a company to me."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."