Family Dinner Champion T-Shirts

'Keep carving, there are still a few identifiable parts.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

Newton had actually discovered gravity at a family dinner in his early childhood.

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

'4 Jello desserts - and, for the love of God, please make them all the same color.' (at restaurant with three kids)

"I grabbed it away from Larry and seasoned it properly just in time. It's a rescue meatloaf."

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

Notoriously losing pieces, the Varns could only have family game night by putting together whatever they could find. 'Checkmate!' 'You sank my Battleship!' 'You didn't say 'UNO'!

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

"That sister of yours sure has some nerve asking for those leftovers - we earned them."

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"You've all been like a company to me."

'As soon as your mother is through laundering the money we'll go out to eat.'

"And that's where hot dogs come from."

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"Dad's dinner really is melt-in-your-mouth...it's half frozen!"

"I thought we agreed that the dining room was a buffer zone."

"Fridge-to-table"

'We thank you for this food and ask you to protect us from pesticides, additives and preservatives.'

'Could I trade all of this for more of that?'