Family Democracy Fan Gifts

The daughter and the cat agree.

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

A child as a pet substitute.

John F. Kennedy

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

"If we gave them press freedom they'd only want democracy too..."

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

"We need to have a serious talk."

Pollster

'If elected, I promise to my darndest to keep money in politics.'

'For? Against? Undecided? Uniformed? Apathetic? This is one accurate poll!'

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

"Careful George. You don't want to hurt our baby boy."

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

Well, obviously we can't live with my parents

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

'Quit playing kick ball with your brother!'

"Think about it: Toby's the only ram here, so we have to be half brothers!"

The Daily Me

'Not today,son-not on Fathers' Day!'

You never caw.

Bears: 'Mummy, mummy can I sleep over at Jessica's this winter.'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

"I thought we agreed we wouldn't tell your Dad about the Easter Bunny till next year."