Family Cookout Lover T-Shirts

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Polygamists' Picnic

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

"Come and get it!"

"You've all been like a company to me."

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"What about the five that fell through?"

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

Non-wall St merger: Mom's Home Cooking...Pop's Cafe!

"Michael, do your dinner."

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

Man roasting steaks on the grill

'What luck, Mom! There's no line over at the Super-Lippty-Comet Coaster that's even bigger than this one.'

"Are there sharks in the water?"

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'When I'm rich, I'm going to hire a food taster to check for vegetables.'

Adult Table - Kids Table - Kids' Friends Table

"More aphorisms, please!"

"Funny how we never seem to run out of vegetables."

"I remember a simpler time when the Sunday dinner tables were divided up for the adults and kids."

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

Screen Time at the Dining Table

My corn is undercooked. It hasn't even popped!

I've learned that it doesn't do any good to slip broccoli to the dog under the table.

"Why do you always have to be so judgemental?"