Family Cookout Lover Mugs

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

Polygamists' Picnic

"Okay - who wants theirs well done?"

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

"Come and get it!"

"What about the five that fell through?"

"It's so nice to gather and enjoy a simple home-cooked meal together."

"You've all been like a company to me."

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"Damn! Someone just asked for chicken drumsticks."

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

Non-wall St merger: Mom's Home Cooking...Pop's Cafe!

"You heard your mother. There's no need to bless the superfoods."

Ways to Misuse Ventriloquism

Man roasting steaks on the grill

"Are there sharks in the water?"

'What luck, Mom! There's no line over at the Super-Lippty-Comet Coaster that's even bigger than this one.'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"Michael, do your dinner."

'When I'm rich, I'm going to hire a food taster to check for vegetables.'

Adult Table - Kids Table - Kids' Friends Table

"Funny how we never seem to run out of vegetables."

"More aphorisms, please!"

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

I've learned that it doesn't do any good to slip broccoli to the dog under the table.

My corn is undercooked. It hasn't even popped!

Screen Time at the Dining Table

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'