Family-centric Contemplator Pillows

"I need to cut back on work and spend more time with the children. . . how many do we have?"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'My mom says we're expecting a house guest for 18 years.'

'How many are just staying together for the kids? Ok, that's good, very good.'

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

"Please continue as a lab rat, we have five mouths to feed!"

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

"Gosh, before you know it they'll be all grown up and making poor decisions that you can't comment on or ever make peace with!"

'Dad, are we rich?'

Proud Mum.

"Another problem is that I haven't had dinner with my family for a week."

'I must be getting old. I've stopped trying to come up with ways to drive you crazy.'

Old School Call Forwarding

"Let me tell you what it's like to be seven in this city."

"Son, as long as my lawyers can still find enough legal loopholes to get me out somehow, I don't do anything immoral."

"My Dad told me not to make the same mistakes he did. That doesn't leave much left!"

Bachelors talking about fashionable life versus marriage

The widow's intended: 'Well, Tommy, has your mother told you of my good fortune.' Tommy: 'No. She only said she was going to marry you!'

'When, son, do you plan to leave your mother and father and cleave unto another?'

"Remember, money can't buy happiness...if your Mother ever asks."

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

'How am I supposed to follow in your footsteps when you don't have any?'

'What did we do before green tea?'

"Listen, Mom, I'm not your little girl anymore."

'These figures on parental leave are truly shocking...'