Family-centric Contemplator Pillows

"I need to cut back on work and spend more time with the children. . . how many do we have?"

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"Come on, we've thought of 492 names surely we can get one more"

"I consider every member of our family to be like family."

'Will I have to be a mum when I grow up?'

"Anything interesting happen over the weekend, Frank?"

'It's time you learned, son - in-laws and outlaws aren't necessarily opposites.'

"You're six years old and I'm your mother! - I'm SUPPOSED to impose my moral standards on you!"

'How many are just staying together for the kids? Ok, that's good, very good.'

'My mom says we're expecting a house guest for 18 years.'

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

'Enjoy it while you can, kid...one day you wake up and you're five!'

"Gosh, before you know it they'll be all grown up and making poor decisions that you can't comment on or ever make peace with!"

Proud Mum.

'Dad, are we rich?'

"Please continue as a lab rat, we have five mouths to feed!"

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

"Let me tell you what it's like to be seven in this city."

"Son, as long as my lawyers can still find enough legal loopholes to get me out somehow, I don't do anything immoral."

"Another problem is that I haven't had dinner with my family for a week."

Old School Call Forwarding

'I must be getting old. I've stopped trying to come up with ways to drive you crazy.'

"My Dad told me not to make the same mistakes he did. That doesn't leave much left!"

Bachelors talking about fashionable life versus marriage

The widow's intended: 'Well, Tommy, has your mother told you of my good fortune.' Tommy: 'No. She only said she was going to marry you!'

'What did we do before green tea?'

"Remember, money can't buy happiness...if your Mother ever asks."

'I sure wouldn't want to be MY brother's keeper!'

Touring campuses with Twig was fun. Now I don't want to go back to work! Quit! I'm earning your tuition money, Teddy. Wait. You went to college to get a good job so

'When, son, do you plan to leave your mother and father and cleave unto another?'

"I don’t care if your daughter gave it to you for Father’s Day, Glen – get rid of it."

Today is the first day of the rest of my life, Axel. Is that the good news or the bad news?

"Oh, to be a Mayfly."

'These figures on parental leave are truly shocking...'