Family Business Drama Lovers Gifts

'DNA analysis of board members shows we're not quite the family business we thought we were.'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

"We've doubled our staff in the last six months." (Smith and Smith - baby in playpen behind desk).

"Geoffrey always was a bit of a loose cannon.."

"Hate to see you leave—you were my favorite puppet."

"There's no business deductions like show business deductions."

'When are you going to give up this 9 to 5 nonsense and become a rock star like your brother?'

"Friend or foe?"

"Bentley, I don't care if you are my heir apparent. Stop peeking in here fifty times a day!"

"I see you attending a family reunion, where things get quite heated."

"...And to my favorite 'Mr. Down On His Luck' relative, I leave all my spare change."

'Miss Roberts, turn off the video camera!'

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

Worldwide Global Conglomerate, Takeover Division: 'FRIENDLY',,,'HOSTILE',

'I wish you would come to me first with your grievances, instead of going directly to the United Nations Committee on Human Rights.'

"...type yourself a letter of apology for what I did at the office party last night."

"What do you mean you don't think I'm the father?!"

"I don't know about you guys, but I'm very disappointed in the severance package."

"Clean your specs, lady?"

'The staff is getting slack Simkins - mention the word 'redundancy'.'

'My daughter eloped with a mime...'

"Here at this firm, we pride ourselves on the family atmosphere we've created. As such, I'd like to welcome you abroad as my long lost love child, Inga."

"Your mother and I have seen your report card, and we've decided to distance ourselves from you."

"Grandpa, if I ever decide to get involved in farming, it will be strictly as a commodities broker."

"Okay son, you're a corporate officer now... So go out there and fire someone!"

'Would you like to try our new Family-Style meal deal? While you eat I yell at you to be more like your brother then criticize what you're wearing before saying how much you've disappointed me and your father.'

"Luck, son, is when preparation meets nepotism."

"Your father forgives the thirty attemps you've made on his life, Oedipus. How does that make you feel?"

'Do it again.'

"We’ve just received the latest management update on how to persecute whistleblowers."

"Run for it, sir—the cops!"

"So, it's unanimous."

Dirty Deeds