Family Budgeting Gifts

Back pain - Back to school.

'Hunting and gathering together saved our marriage, but the cost of daycare is killing us!'

Children are expensive

Girl to mother: 'I could use more disposable income.'

'Sorry kids, we've had to introduce parenting fees.'

"Your mother and I have decided to introduce negative pocket money."

"It's time to go home and put our parents into a panic over the upcoming back to school shopping season..."

"Tell me again about the olden days, Gramps, when people stopped spending after they ran out of money."

"Yes, we have three children. Their names are time guzzler, career killer, and cost factor."

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

"Who's got the hammer?"

'The meek shall inherit the debt. The rich shall inherit the loopholes.'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"We were able to retire 6 years early by canceling cable & eliminating anything fun."

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

What's wrong with the computer you've got?"

Where are they now?: Office of Management & Budget - Grumpy.

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

"They've given me the Lion's share of budgetary constraints."

"Microwave to replace gas or oil central heating?" "Yes. Think how cheap it is to microwave a cup of tea!"

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

'That's what I thought, finances are tight: She's switched to no-name cat food...'

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."