Family Budgeteer Gifts

'Two dollars! That's all you're giving me to spend on your Mother's Day gift? . . . You're gonna think I'm a real cheap-skate.'

"Son, due to the economy, I have to ask you to contribute more to your college fund."

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

"At $4 a dozen, it's hard to balance a career and a family."

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% budget allocation."

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

"What comes after zillion?"

And this is a little ditty I wrote called 'the third quarters profit and loss account' ...Colin often wished that he'd followed his first love and taken up a career as a musician

'I wonder how the economy is doing.'

'We grow our food, have solar energy, use bikes instead of car...now if we could only stop buying knickknacks!'

"The good news is that profits are up 76%. . . The BAD news is that costs are up 83%."

Keep the econoimy moving

City Finance Dept: My Way/The Highway

"This guy might like fiddling with numbers, Dad – but is he any good at sums?"

'I couldn't imagine bringing a child into the current fiscal-cliffy world.'

Excess Baggage: Sooner or later all those vacation bills come due.

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

Small Businesses Go Under.

". . . We're being sucked into the UK national debt!"

BMA criticises 'Black Hole' of NHS IT spending

"We're going to have to save some money...and one way is to rewrite the rules on expenses claim."

Homeless count.

'It's a relatively simple operation...first, we take out your wallet...'

'This is just a thought, but maybe we could try animated anchormen.'

'He's put in a tender to run down public services.'

'We do a lot for the ecosystem.'

Budget Munchies

'The legislation HR2109 would increase state aid to education. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for you.'

7.9% Fewer Drones