Family Bonds Advocate Gifts

If you want to spend more time with your family, fill out a job application like the rest of us!'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Model Building

And when we came home, the entire anthill was gone... It was awful, Mom - but at least Harry and I still have each other...

'At present, my son and I are extremely interested in genetics and heredity.'

"Next to my two years in the Marines, you're the best thing I've ever done."

"What better way to start your day than to eat and pray before we play!"

'He had a tough time fishing today,'

Love for the family

"That's it! You've watched TV out here long enough! We need to spend more family time together! I'm putting this thing in the closet!"

"I bet you miss your brother."

"It's amazing how much he's like one of his dads."

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

Three happy men

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

A Close Call

"Oh, great. ... My Aunt Donna is now on Facebook!"

"I'm sorry, Dad. What I did was really stupid, selfish and wrong."

'Well General? What is today's inspirational message from your mother?'

"Once upon a time...long ago...before TV..."

"Emanaditas...grilled cheese sandwich...a mango... Oh yeah! And ice! Last time I sent a care package to my brother in Iraq, he said it was all spoiled."

3 Easy Christmas Crafts

"This rush-rush life is getting old. Sometimes, I think about moving back to the land where I way born. What do you think, Baldo? What would you miss the most?"

The Battle of Life - Part the First

"Aw, c'mon, dad. You know how I hat to see that look of separation anxiety on your face."

"Gracie, Christmas isn't about material possessions. It's about being together...as a family. We are the best gift we can give each other!"

'Is this a bad time to discuss the birds and the bees.'

"Gracie, no matter how smart-pants you are...I still love you."

'I can't take the stress test next week. I have to go to the pool with my grandson and show him how to do a one-and-a-half gainer of the high diving board.'

'Have you ever seen that TV ad, 'Help, I'm sitting around gossiping and can't shut up', Timmy?'

'A toast to the graduate. You're in a class by yourself.'