Family Bonds Advocate Gifts

If you want to spend more time with your family, fill out a job application like the rest of us!'

'Okay, Mom. I'm sorry I re-gifted one of the kidneys you gave me.'

"I appreciate that you brought me to 'Take our daughters to work day' all those years ago, dad, but I still have to let you go!"

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

And when we came home, the entire anthill was gone... It was awful, Mom - but at least Harry and I still have each other...

Model Building

'At present, my son and I are extremely interested in genetics and heredity.'

Love for the family

"Next to my two years in the Marines, you're the best thing I've ever done."

'He had a tough time fishing today,'

"What better way to start your day than to eat and pray before we play!"

"One day, son, all this anxiety will be yours."

"I bet you miss your brother."

"It's amazing how much he's like one of his dads."

Three happy men

"That's it! You've watched TV out here long enough! We need to spend more family time together! I'm putting this thing in the closet!"

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

"C'mon, Dad...did you really think you and your kids would agree on everything? I say 'yes'...you say 'no'...maybe father and son are just a little bit different!"

A Close Call

"Once upon a time...long ago...before TV..."

"Oh, great. ... My Aunt Donna is now on Facebook!"

'Well General? What is today's inspirational message from your mother?'

"I'm sorry, Dad. What I did was really stupid, selfish and wrong."

'Tommy and Billy have been inseparable since birth. You don't always find that in a placenta.'

3 Easy Christmas Crafts

"This rush-rush life is getting old. Sometimes, I think about moving back to the land where I way born. What do you think, Baldo? What would you miss the most?"

"Emanaditas...grilled cheese sandwich...a mango... Oh yeah! And ice! Last time I sent a care package to my brother in Iraq, he said it was all spoiled."

The Battle of Life - Part the First

"Aw, c'mon, dad. You know how I hat to see that look of separation anxiety on your face."

"Remember, technically, it's not lying if you tell your mother I was teaching you how to drive."

"Gracie, Christmas isn't about material possessions. It's about being together...as a family. We are the best gift we can give each other!"

'A toast to the graduate. You're in a class by yourself.'

'Have you ever seen that TV ad, 'Help, I'm sitting around gossiping and can't shut up', Timmy?'

'Is this a bad time to discuss the birds and the bees.'

'I can't take the stress test next week. I have to go to the pool with my grandson and show him how to do a one-and-a-half gainer of the high diving board.'