Fame Seekers Gifts

'And for those of us still waiting for our big break, let us pray.'

'My parents are real losers...neither of them has ever been a celebrity.'

'I've been a model, a film star, a soap star, a dress designer... next I'm going to write a children's book and after that...'

'I'm seeking early parole so I can go on a book-signing tour.'

"These are my windscreen credits."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Piranhaclaus

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

"Someone’s in the kitchen. Did you lock up my kibble?"

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

'Red Rover, Red Rover...'

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

"Cat World Domination Day June 24th"

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

"Alexa, play Thriller by Michael Jackson."

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"It's probably just seasonal."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"Yoo-hoo. Fifteen minutes of fame is about to start."

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

'Okay, time to sleep now. Switch off your nose, Rudolph'!

'I'm an atheist!'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

Shell Fire

David Grohl - Foo Fighters

"You knew I was hooked when you married me!"

"She's all over YouTube."

'She looks just like you when you were that age.'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"