Faithful Spouse Gifts

"My husband couldn't make it today, but I took notes on the sermon for him."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Sure - After the aggressive guys wear it all out!"

Priest

'Fischer Says Give Thanks to the Lord!'

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

Caption Contest TK

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

Monk Prompt

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

"Giving is down at the church, so we are charging an entrance fee."

Behind Every Stupid Man

Jesus is Scourged (The Holy Bible).

"I've accepted him as my personal trainer."

'This business about the meek inheriting the Earth -- can't anything be done about it?'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"So join me in prayer for those who are damned if they do and damned if they don't..."

"He's dumbing down the sermons again."

"My fellow mantises...I can barely believe this, but it has come to my attention that there is a lack of prayer in this church!"

Kid praying: 'If it's okay with you, don't record this one.'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

Spiritual Lives Matter

'Have you been taking your medicine every day?'

Minister Starts at a New Church

'His wife is very supportive.'

Scared husband needs to have scans done in children's exam room.

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

"A real old fashioned fire and brimstone message today Preacher."

"Seminary didn't prepare me for this."

'...and we used to grumble about not understanding archaic church language!'