Faithful Fixer-upper Gifts

"Looks like the source of your impure thoughts is a blown gasket in your thought purifier."

boy plugging leak in a barrel with his finger

A man repeatedly pulls the start cord on his lawn mower until it falls apart.

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"It's a major fixer-upper. How's your marriage?"

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

"Oh no! This chimney needs re-pointing."

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'And now, concerning the special collection...'

'Your husband started without me, didn't he?'

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

We'll take a carpenter, painter, plumber...

"Thanks to our self-driving car, Fred channels all his road rage energy into doing chores around the house!"

Darn you, you stupid hammer!

'He may not be accurate but he's resourceful'

"This does NOT count as fixing the leaky faucet, mister!"

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

Moe's Fix-It Shop - No Heroic Measures

'Buy this house sir, and you could be a star in a DIY make-over programme!'

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

'While we're on the subject, when are you going to do something about those potholes in our driveway at home?'

"There's nothing wrong with your marriage that an extra bathroom and walk-in closet can't solve."

Well paid job

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

"First thing when you get home tonight help me with the refrigerator."

A Tax Auditor Prescribes Treatment For A Doctor's Condition

"Who would you like me to call first, the electrician or the plumber?"

"Thanks for fixing the muffler."

"Is it really necessary to shout 'Nailed it!' every time you hammer a nail?"

"Here's a video showing how to fix a toilet. It shows a guy calling a plumber."