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"Wow, you just grabbed any old belief system that came down the pike didn't you?"

'I hope you have come here to give us a taste of religion.'

"Excuse me brother which way is mecca?"

If God is your co-pilot, let him drive!

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"I never dreamed we'd migrate."

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

A surprise in heaven

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'Can we sit in the balcony today? Huh? Can we?'

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"You're kidding! You count S.A.T.s?"

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

"Do you have an appointment?"

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

'I'm an atheist!'

"Wow, Jesus. That lesson rocked, someone should write this stuff down."

"Show off."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

Nun Binning the Devil

"Sure, it's Good News, but is it fake news?"

Do you ever wonder if there's really a higher power? What do you mean? Is there an all-knowing being that keeps track of you? That always knows where you are

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

'To be honest, it's a bit hard to swallow.'

God is for life not just for Christmas.