Fairytales Pillows

"Don't worry, I left a trail of junk bonds to get us back to Wall st."

The princess and the pea.

'Yeah. Yeah... Wolf, girl, grandma. I got the picture.'

'Ma'am, I'm afraid the insulation in the walls of your gingerbread house contains dangerously high levels of cholesterol.'

"The great thing about the ball taking place on Zoom is that you can wear sweatpants."

Rapunzel on prom night.

Tortoise & Hare.

'It's a common misconception, but it's always been three fishes.'

Prince frog to frog about princess: 'We're friends, so she accepts me warts and all.'

'I'm afraid you've got diabetes.'

'Did she do anything about the falling sky after she was elected?'

Mendel and the Pea.

'Where are all these people who lived happily ever after?'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

'And don't forget. That credit card will expire at midnight.'

Tooth Fairy: Ruined by Dentures and Implants. Please Help.

"We're down to seven. Snow White's just kicked out Gropey!"

'...and he slept for twenty years...until the presidential campaign was over.'

'I'm from Teamsters' Local 972, Ma'am -- we have reports that you've been turning mice into coachmen.'

'No dear, that's only a fairytale. You'll probably grow up to be an ugly duck like your father.'

"I don't care who's the fairest one of all, I asked for a unified theory of physics!"

'Hey, somebody's been accessing MY email too!'

'You're good, but Snow White's the best CEO in the land.'

'Visiting has been a breeze since you switched to this extra-stiff hair gel.'

'Yes, we do have a few princesses on our files but none of them want to date frogs, enchanted or otherwise.'

'Yeah, yeah. Never mind about your hobbies. Are you a princess or not?'

'....happily ever after...AFTER what?'

Humpty Dumpty: THE LATER YEARS. . .

"Rapunzel, I have an endorsement deal from a hair shampoo company."

'Not that I think you'll need it. But good luck with the 'Jack and the beanstalk' audition.'

'Thats not fair!!'

"We'll catch 'em and cook 'em when the sugar wears off."

'I can't climb up there, I suffer from vertigo!'

'Times are a bit tough for the Tooth Fairy, so please accept these valuable discount coupons in lieu of cash.'

Wolf in bed.