Fairytale Nostalgist Pillows

A Fairytale Update

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown and Jill said 'I told you so'."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"When I ask questions, I expect answers!"

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

'Hurray for indoor plumbing!'

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

The Frog Prince

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

'He was a handsome young prince when I married him.'

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

"Like that?"

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."

"When are you going to stop blaming everything on Goldilocks?"

Cinderella and Charming the Clown

"My favorite part of the story was when Prince Charming kissed Sleeping Beauty and she totally rebooted."

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

Fairy Library - Cinderella Marries the Prince

'Yes Mr Hare, you were right: He IS on steroids!'

'And the wicked stepmother looked into her smartphone and said, "Selfie, selfie in my face, who's the fairest in this place?"

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

"Define fair."

Cinderella waits at bus stop.