Fairy Tale Revitalist Pillows

'It's the best we could expect - Goldilocks was given an ASBO.'

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

The Fourth Little Pig

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

Swan Fairy Tales

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

'Are you made of sugar?'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

A Fairytale Update

The tooth fairy.

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Dragon Hair-dryer.

The Mouse Princess

"My, grandma, what a big nose you have! Let's take a little off the sides."

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

"We're pleased to announce that your company has shrewdly traded a cow for some magic beans." some ma

"If I can't ask for more wishes, how about more genies?"

The Seven Dwarfs After Therapy

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Rapunzel in the Morning

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

"What the hell took so long?"

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

Rape of the Lock- The Dream

Through the Looking Glass - Queen Alice with Frog

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"... And this one needs a shot of vodka."

Grimm's Reality Tales.