Fact-checking Aficionado Gifts

If you are going to fact check my resume, I embellished the part about being an astronaut.

'When I was governor I saw to it that no superstorms ever started, and I know how to do it again as president.'

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

"Ever notice how grateful people are when you present them with facts contrary to their beliefs?"

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

"We do not usually acknowledge unsolicited manuscripts, but we want you to know that we tore yours into tiny pieces. Yours sincerely, The Op-Ed Page."

Emergency Disguise at the CIA

"Are these 'raw' facts or 'spun' facts?"

Rumours Online

"That's Eleanor. She's a fact checker."

'There are facts,there are factoids, and there are just plain fun facts.'

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

Fake News, 50 cents.

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

"If I meet one more person who thinks a whale is a fish!..."

Spy reading secret service weekly.

"Stop fact checking my story."

Zoology. Cheetahs can reach speeds up to sixty miles an hour! Amazing, and yet they never win!

The Mnemonic Plague.

Mensa Applicants - Please Form an Orderly IQ.

"Well, would you look at that. . . it's been below zero for two weeks back home."

"It's the ABCs, Justin. You don't need to fact check."

Social media and Fake News

Funky Facts: Sharks.

"I just feel fortunate to live in a world with so much disinformation at my fingertips."

'We are a committee of clocks, you idiot. What do you mean you forgot to record the minutes?'

'... But, if he knows when I'm sleeping and when I'm awake, isn't that an infringement of my right to privacy?'

'Today, the dollar continued to hold its value in relation to monopoly money.'

This just in: A deadly new disease called "turkey leprosy" is threatening to ruin this year's holiday season. Symptoms include numbness in the feet, muscle weakness after working out, and potentially disfiguring dandruff. Sadie M. Cohen, the worlds foremost expert on turkey leprosy, issues the following statement from her front lawn. "You are all ignoramuses. There will be no further comment." What did she mean by that, Harvey? Good question. Let's discuss that for a few days.

Vegetable Intelligence Agency. Gentlemen, I'm afraid there's a Leek in our organization!

'I brought my own fact checkers to make sure you don't slip up.'

"What is your ideal weight?"