Eyebrow Aficionado Gifts

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

Time to trim the eyebrows!

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

'No doubt about it Captain. See these markings? This arrow belongs to Robin Hood!'

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

"Be creative...!"

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

Emergency Hipster Beard

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

wattle covers

'All those in doubt, raise your eyebrows.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

The Beard in the Stone

General Meade's Army, Near Culpepper - Shaving in Camp

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

"Actually, I think you looked better WITH a beard."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

"Nice haircut."

Movember

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

Sigh … They grow up so fast, don't they?

'Long shift?'

Bearded Leftie.

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

You can tell when the blades get dull on your rotary nose-hair clippers.

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

"I noticed a few browns."

'To grow a good beard, have good dental habits. First, brush with a concave brush to clean the teeth's facial surfaces. Then use a convex brush to reach flat surfaces. Then use a scalloped brush to be chic. Then floss to clean between teeth. Then use ...

Your five o'clock shadow is showing, Mike.

The Organic

"Are you growing that mustache to make me break up with you?"

A stylized man in pyjamas

'He wasn't doing a bit good, until I changed his glasses.'