Extreme Foodie Gifts

"Mustard? Ketchup? Mayo? Talk to me, old man."

Spiro & Pusho cook a chicken on a volcano

Domestic Goddess.

Vegetarian Birds

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"I asked my mother to pack my parachute and she packed my lunch instead."

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

"...And would sir care to kill the rabbit himself?"

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

Vegan Restaurant: ''amburgers! Sausages! RISSOLES!'

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

"Waiter, can you find out if this hair in my arugula salad is locally harvested?"

'It's an acquired taste!'

'Vegetable proteins sure have caught on. I have to go over to Canyon Gulch and round up a herd of soybeans.'

"Robot waiters are OK, but I just wish they wouldn't hover so."

'Have you noticed how portions are getting bigger?'

"This is a self-service diner. I cook the meals and I eat them myself."

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

"If I'd wanted a Picasso I'd have gone to an art gallery, wouldn't I?"

"Rain or shine, me and you can do fondue!" "I'm ready for some yum!"

'STOP! You're injecting the wrong GMO gene!'

“Here’s to the 240 bucks we’re paying the sitter.”

Intolerant Chef

Chicken A La King

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

Noah Cappe - Host of Carnival Eats

'You might try the chef's surprise, if you're a real daredevil.'

Master Chef

"Set phazers to medium rare!"

"I heard this dumpster got a bad review, but we'll try it out anyhow."