Extinction Irony Seeker Gifts

"They say the Transformation Meteor is coming, but I told them "I'm a dinosaur. I don't do change" What's the worst that could happen?"

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'I feel like exercising. Have you seen my tennis shoes?'

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"My service animal for Alzheimer's, sonny!"

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

'I'd hire you, but the word is going around you guys are practically extinct!'

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

What do you think about this "too big to fail" stuff?

Mort Park! You mean Killer. You're sprung, Killer. I'm free to go? Unless you're so tough now you'd rather stay. I mean a guy named Killer probably likes jail. Mail me my blanky.

The Red Carpet

"Barry stop!. . . I'm you! I'm Barry from 2008. I'm using a time machine to stop you from making an awful mistake!"

'My horoscope said I would be taking a long trip today.'

Eurydice in prison

"They say it's the last of the really big cattle drives, and I'm just glad I'm here to see it."

"The average citizen doesn't have a clue - or why would we keep getting re-elected?"

"Frankly, I don't like the way things are going."

'A late payment and a friendly reminder cross paths in the mail.'

'We need to panic until common sense returns.'

"I always said I'd sleep when I'm dead, and yet here I am doing paperwork."

Lost and found - 'Can you desribe it?' (Queen being asked having lost her crown).

Whoever said "Brevity is the soul of wit" must have not read many tweets!

"Beware of dog"

"I had a dream about a huge flaming rock falling from the sky! What do you think it means?"

Local anaesthetic.

"Don't even start, Claire. You knew I was a snake when you took me in."

'I thought my people were happy, I know I was.

'I see we'll be sampling the wines of New Jersey this evening.'

Greeting Card Shop: No Rhyme or Reason Cards.

'I get to work early and all I get are the worms.'

...I'm here at the gruesome scene now. Yes, what began as a candlelight vigil,ended in mass tragedy when the thousands of moths in attendance became inexplicably drawn to each other's flames.

"They found culturally insensitive products in my kitchen."

"It's from our tax consultant. We forgot to beef up our pension scheme, so now we're going to be extinct."