Expression Lover Pillows

'We keep the Holy Cow in the barn and the Holy Mackerel in the lake... I guess I don't have to tell you what we keep in there!'

"If you can't stand the jaguar, get out of the kitchen."

"Jack is becoming tough, adventurous, and independent. I put it down to my throwing him out with the bathwater."

'Hey Harry? Remember all those things you're going to do when hell freezes over?'

'She'd put 'The fear of God' into God himself!'

'Is that all you can say - if the cap fits wear it?'

A Puppet Named Juan

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'

Thru versus Through Traffic

I will study my speling words...

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Big Tex Silver Saddle Restaurant advertises 'BBQ, $10, Chatter in a Vanishing Regional Dialect $1.00 Extra.'

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

Punctuation Police

Someone who knows apostrophes

Kid in class corrects teachers spelling.

Restaurant Francais: All you can pronounce £30.

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"You've got to learn about verbs. How else are you going to verbalize your feelings?

"‘Extra vile old ox’? No, sir – it stands for ‘extra virgin olive oil.’"

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

'The Questioner'

Wok. Don't Wok.

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

Introducing...Anagraman.

Wordplay: Gastropod.

"Nuts to you, too."