Express Lane Enthusiast T-Shirts

Supermarket customer types.

Express lane - zero items.

12 items or less. 12 items or else.

8 Items or Fewer. Express Checkout. I live life in the fast lane because I can only afford eight items or fewer.

Loan company has express lane for transactions of $900 or less.

'Friend of mine got in the express lane with 16 items. I never saw her again.'

10 items or less

"Who's next?"

"Here's a coupon for you...it's for a text book on simple addition."

Soldier armed with a pen.

The devil you know and his plus one

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

The Devil's in the detail!

Freedom of the press

'Here's the good news. 'Happy camper' and 'are we having fun yet' have been added to the official list of banned cliches.'

'I think you've put that in the wrong place.'

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

"The first rule of miming is you don't talk about miming."

Censorship.

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

Prisoner Crossing

Please enter "my way" or "the highway." Tough guy GPS.

'It's a demonstration by people who disapprove of what you say but will defend to the death your right to say it.'

Online Sales Company. I'm excited about the company Olympics. I hear supervisors will be in the decathlon because they're used to multitasking. The people making express deliveries will be in the sprints. Of course the people who package orders will be boxing. What about tennis? Those are the folks who handle returns.

Censorship is killing free society.

Bad Career Move

'EXIT -Next Exit.'

"Welcome to the show, Mr. Edwards. Tell us about your new book."

"I used to try and lead by example, but now I'm trying contemporary dance."

Lady mimics The Scream.

"Hey buddy! Come over here and draw me something about 'Freedom of Speech!'"

Speed limit 70mph and up.

Creative Writing. I've learned a lot in this class. I used to use cliches like they were going out of style, but now I wouldn't touch one with a ten-foot pole.