Express Lane Enthusiast T-Shirts

Supermarket customer types.

Express lane - zero items.

Loan company has express lane for transactions of $900 or less.

'Friend of mine got in the express lane with 16 items. I never saw her again.'

10 items or less

"Who's next?"

"Here's a coupon for you...it's for a text book on simple addition."

Soldier armed with a pen.

The devil you know and his plus one

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

The Devil's in the detail!

Freedom of the press

'Here's the good news. 'Happy camper' and 'are we having fun yet' have been added to the official list of banned cliches.'

"I still have my loophole, but I can't drive a truck through it."

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

'No, no....You have it all wrong!'

"The first rule of miming is you don't talk about miming."

Censorship.

Prisoner Crossing

Bad Career Move

Censorship is killing free society.

'It's a demonstration by people who disapprove of what you say but will defend to the death your right to say it.'

'EXIT -Next Exit.'

Speed limit 70mph and up.

"Hey buddy! Come over here and draw me something about 'Freedom of Speech!'"

Lady mimics The Scream.

"Welcome to the show, Mr. Edwards. Tell us about your new book."

"I used to try and lead by example, but now I'm trying contemporary dance."

'Bag? Any vouchers? Like a packer? If you have two of those... What type of apples are these?'

"A wise person said, 'Curiosity develops the new product'....and that's why I'd like to introduce our latest addition to the team."

"You've got to admit, he wears the 'that dog won't hunt' label with a lot of class!"

The PENguin... is mightier with the sword

"Yeah, he's sooo sweet, but I'm not happy as a clam!"

The Power of the Pen