Explorer With An Eye For Satire Pillows

London on £50 a meal

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Public footpath on a desert island.

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

'No, not your Uncle Sam. The Uncle Sam.'

A bill poster pasting up a wanted poster of himself.

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

Star-Spangled Danner Episode 4

ACME, Inc. For the man who has everything. It's a home security company.

The Height of Impudence.

"I just attained enlightenment! - Gimme a high-five!"

"No. Have to say we don't get many tourists around here!"

"There's nothing wrong with the ship. We just got a better offer."

"Until the weapons of mass destruction are found."

Corruption and Forestry Department: 'All trees are in a very good shapes sir!'

Another Disappointment for Captain Ahab

Woman in a card shop sees an 'Out Of Section' - Patience, Of Work, Nowhere, Your Mind.

Quick Sand and Slow Sand

'He decided to celebrate meeting his QOF targets by doing a cartwheel...wrecked his knee and has to wait 26 weeks to see a consultant.'

"Animals? Yes, sir, we're working on that."

NASA discovers Ultima Tule, an object the farthest stretch from truth in the universe

Norman Mailer

Moon Vacuuming

The Quack Quack Diaries - Quack Quack Joins The Army

"Three Morons At Sea."

"Don't blame me, the tourist brochure says it's one of the World's great spectacles."

'Uh-oh.'

'Hey, my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

'I'd recommend the top deck - you can see down ladies tops better.'

Pirate points to Plank Walking notice nailed to mast,

"If this is going to take long, is there some place I can charge my phone?"

'Las Vegas? It's 70 years that way.'

'The hotel has no vacancies. However, there are a couple old F.E.M.A. mobile home behind the hotel.'

Cruising the highway of broken dreams

'Fire another broadside ... and take Mrs. Kepelman some lotion.'