Explorer With An Eye For Satire Pillows

London on £50 a meal

"Actually, I used them as collateral for a loan."

Public footpath on a desert island.

"I've got a better view on my smart phone."

A bill poster pasting up a wanted poster of himself.

'No, not your Uncle Sam. The Uncle Sam.'

'Nobody special, but rich enough to build this statue of himself.

The Height of Impudence.

"I just attained enlightenment! - Gimme a high-five!"

"No. Have to say we don't get many tourists around here!"

"There's nothing wrong with the ship. We just got a better offer."

Quick Sand and Slow Sand

Corruption and Forestry Department: 'All trees are in a very good shapes sir!'

Another Disappointment for Captain Ahab

"Until the weapons of mass destruction are found."

Woman in a card shop sees an 'Out Of Section' - Patience, Of Work, Nowhere, Your Mind.

'He decided to celebrate meeting his QOF targets by doing a cartwheel...wrecked his knee and has to wait 26 weeks to see a consultant.'

"Animals? Yes, sir, we're working on that."

NASA discovers Ultima Tule, an object the farthest stretch from truth in the universe

Moon Vacuuming

"Three Morons At Sea."

"Don't blame me, the tourist brochure says it's one of the World's great spectacles."

'Uh-oh.'

'I'd recommend the top deck - you can see down ladies tops better.'

'Hey, my dad promised that I'd get a gun.'

Pirate points to Plank Walking notice nailed to mast,

"If this is going to take long, is there some place I can charge my phone?"

Donald Trump Devouring Statue of Liberty

Cruising the highway of broken dreams

". . . because I'm not allowed to copy other people's stuff, change it easily and pass it off as my own idea. . . damn EU!!"

'The hotel has no vacancies. However, there are a couple old F.E.M.A. mobile home behind the hotel.'

'This isn't a fortune cookie. It's a WikiLeak!'