Experimental Cuisine T-Shirts

Psychedelia Smith Cook Book.

"Our chef specializes in atomic gastronomy."

Endangered Entrees

"The special tonight is Steak Teriyaki, which is seared, cubed, and expertly tossed into your mouth.”

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'Uh yeah, it's supposed to be like that... it's a... it's a new invention.'

'Dear, what if tonight I add watercress, sorrel and purslane to our salad

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Lockdown casserole

Baloneystini

Ten out of ten for effort...

The Inexperienced Cook

Acme Foods. Research and Development. Then it's an "no" on the Mexican Jumping Bean Dip?

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

Tzatzikicicle

'No creamed peas for me today!'

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

'I would kill for a truffle.'

Funky Chef 2

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

Onion Guillotine

"Just remember...the main ingredient in all my dishes is love."

"Honey, quick – the demi-glace is about to simmer – pass me a shot of Don Julio 1942 tequila!"

Get me a bottle of house white. I need to clean the stainless steel surfaces.

'Continue gently simmering for ten minutes...'

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

"Let's start a new tradition! You're each responsible for one thanksgiving dish!"

'O.K. Smarty Pants, here's your fish, cheese, egg, strawberry jam and pickle sandwich with a topping of ice cream and mustard. Pay up!'

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."