Experiencing Family Change Gifts

"My mom has a new boyfriend, my dad has a new girlfriend and all I got was a new therapist."

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"We'd love to come, but we can't seem to find a sitter."

Brilliance runs in my family, but in a zig-zag pattern.

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

"Just accept it, Frank. You're a bald eagle."

How human migration got started.

"Mom, Dad - I'm adopted, aren't I?"

'I'll relinquish most of my visitation rights if you'll just let Katie come over once in awhile to program my appliances.'

'Thank you, my dear, for taking the runt of my litter in holy matrimony...'

'No more kids, Steve -- I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.'

"I told you not to have that boob job."

"I think I’m turning into my parents."

"Okay, now you know. I come from a broken home."

"I'm sorry but, legally, there is no way you can get divorces from your parents."

"Mommy will be staying with us for awhile."

"The thing is, I've grown and you haven't."

"Cherish this moment, because clearly our parents are getting a divorce."

"What about instead of your stepdad, you just think of me as a 'gritty reboot'."

"It's just for a few days, darling. We're a very close family."

"You treat this house like a hotel!"

"We broke our promise to not talk politics around the house, so we sold the house."

Stress? Easy to fix. Get a different job and family.

'You can't just move out and leave me here with your father.'

"You moving back in hasn't been a picnic for us, either. I can't wait until you have adult children of your own."

'I don't know...go ask your computer.'

"...I think he makes a great father figure eight."

"That's Jake, Bethany, Stuart, and at the end their imaginary dad."

"Mom, could you leave the door open, keep the hallway light on and lose the boyfriend?"

"They want to spend the weekend at Daddy's"

"Mr. Smith, do you want custody of your children or not?"

"I grew up in a traditional family. My parents divorced when I was six years old."

'Visit Absent Father Christmas' grotto.'