Expense Account Dreamer Pillows

'We replaced your expense account with this wonderful motivational poster.'

"Your expense account ain't what it used to be. There's not enough money on your card to cover the $5.35."

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

"Intrapreneuring chief- how about a glass on the house?"

All I want for Christmas is a modest recovery in the GDP, along with expectations that the year-over-year growth rate will significantly improve in 2014.'

'This is okay, but my ambition is to be an automatic teller.'

'I'm your fantasy from the U.S. Treasury Department.'

'I'm on the workaholic's diet. I only eat when I can put it on an expense account.'

'Well we don't have to worry about paying for the boat anymore.This is our final notice.'

'I barely have time to flaunt my expense account.'

"I'll tell you how I got here - hours and hours of hard visualization."

'Well, you always said that if you became CEO you'd like to live in a gated community.'

Bank Checking Accounts. Yes, deposits are guaranteed, sir --- but withdrawals aren't.

Car Dealer

'Perkins, what about this trip on your expense account to 'Fantasy Island'?'

"I hope you don't mind ordering the free bread and water. My expense account isn't what it used to be."

'I want to give two weeks' notice that I'm quitting my job and two months' notice that I'm quitting my expense account.'

'Give me the bill, it's a business expense.'

'Since I'm an ornithologist, this means we can deduct the electric bill.'

European funds.

"... And you're absolutely certain that this isn't a mirage?"

"Hey! That's a good idea!"

"Great news! All of those bill collectors stopped hounding me - the hacker who stole my identity is being hounded by them now."

'Rolling Stones in Concert' and in huge letters, 'Sound Engineering by Mark S. Warp.' 'Sound Engineer Dreams.'

'Finally have an expense account and I'm always on a diet.'

You get an allowance, not a pension and profit sharing allowance.

'I'll call you back. I'm sleepwalking.'

"I'm having one of those days where I can barely remember which conspiracy theory I'm obsessed with."

'I barely have time to flaunt my expense account.'

'It's said that money talks. That's true, but unfortunately all its ever said to me was 'Good bye'.'

Vehicle Sales.

"Sheldon is having a mid-life crisis. He can't decide whether to remain Reform, become Orthodox or return to conservative

'I'm going to have to reclassify you on my expenses form.'

'My job is ruining my family life, harming my health and destroying my self-respect.. but I can't quit and give up a great expense account.'

I'm hoping the government bailout of Daddy's industry will trickle down to my allowance in time for summer.