Expectation Embracers Pillows

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."

Businessman at the deep end.

"It looked better on pinterest."

Man feeding origami birds with confetti

"Frankly, it would be hard to beat being a bird flying around on such a glorious sunny day!"

Starting is the scariest part.

The Last Dinosaur: States with Gay Marriage Bans.

'Well, what did you expect?'

"Teacher believes in performance-enhancing hugs."

"Sure, I could hold your hand during down markets...but it wouldn't help you learn how to embrace failure."

"YOLO, baby. YOLO."

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

"Run to the store and buy me a tub of ketchup!"

"You know, honestly I see it as half full."

Fear and Uncertainty

Life is more than I can bear phobia.

Change is good.

Salman Rushdie

At least you didn't marry him.

This Is Your Life

Coronavirus 100k Deaths

"If you aren't adverse to risk, I can put you in an attractive Ponzi scheme."

'Congratulations, your days of avoiding the real world are finally over.'

Why Do We Always Want Something Better For Our Children Than What We Had For Ourselves?

'I don't have a problem with you spending $1,500 on golf clubs, so you shouldn't complain about my spending $100,000 on a sports car.'

'Oh s**t, I've been offered a job!'

"Get a grip doctor, without death surgery would have no meaning."

'Peace'

"You have my pet and I have my pet!"

"I got what I wanted, but it wasn't what I expected."