Expectation Embracers Pillows

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Then who the heck else are you talking... you talking to me?"

"I never accomplish the impossible, if I did it would become an expectation."

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

Businessman at the deep end.

"It looked better on pinterest."

"Frankly, it would be hard to beat being a bird flying around on such a glorious sunny day!"

Starting is the scariest part.

The Last Dinosaur: States with Gay Marriage Bans.

'Well, what did you expect?'

"Teacher believes in performance-enhancing hugs."

"Run to the store and buy me a tub of ketchup!"

"YOLO, baby. YOLO."

"Well, who's it from? I don't take blind submissions."

"Sure, I could hold your hand during down markets...but it wouldn't help you learn how to embrace failure."

Fear and Uncertainty

"You know, honestly I see it as half full."

Life is more than I can bear phobia.

Change is good.

At least you didn't marry him.

"If you aren't adverse to risk, I can put you in an attractive Ponzi scheme."

Coronavirus 100k Deaths

This Is Your Life

Salman Rushdie

'Congratulations, your days of avoiding the real world are finally over.'

Why Do We Always Want Something Better For Our Children Than What We Had For Ourselves?

'I don't have a problem with you spending $1,500 on golf clubs, so you shouldn't complain about my spending $100,000 on a sports car.'

'Oh s**t, I've been offered a job!'

"You have my pet and I have my pet!"

"Get a grip doctor, without death surgery would have no meaning."

'Peace'

"I got what I wanted, but it wasn't what I expected."

"I'm a wunderkind slash flop."