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Pregnancy and Laptops

Polly txt speak

The cell phone soother for life.

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Downloading Pregnancy

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Smartphone Sonogram

'How nice. I didn't even know they had computers in nursery schools.'

"It's a Facebook Friend Request."

Cybernetics Research Lab.

"Look, he's got his blanket. He's doing a secure search."

"Don't be out late and stay within Wi-Fi-range."

At the modern antenatal class.

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

"Rayna, will you be my girlfriend?"

"We have a new app that does sin to atonement conversion."

"This app helps you create expletives during labor for reproach, vilification and revilement."

'Well, it's been nice talking to you, even if you are a recording.'

"Congratulations! You've downloaded a baby girl, have you given any thoughts to a username?"

Our genius techie kid is hacking your bank account while your read this.

"Hey - it says here that humans used to have these things called 'legs'. Apparently they used these legs to 'walk' to the shops and actually buy stuff in person...!"

"He needs his five-a-day."

CAN'T FIND CHARGER

"Next time I get my hair done, don't tell people I was out getting a software update."

"No, he's not crying for his bottle. That's his, 'I want a new phone' cry."

"Practicing social distancing is nothing new. We've been practicing it for years."

"Let's face it, no one, apart from Google, knows we're here."

'Did you Google me before I was born to see if I was going to be a boy or a girl?'

'Now we come to step 86 of how to enter your new computer logins.'

Unborn baby texts his parents.

"Sure, buddy, I'll visit your website, but I won't accept your cookies."