Expectant Geeks Pillows

Smartphone Sonogram

Naturally, Bob thought the midwife was for him.

"No wonder babies are born screaming. I haven't had a wink of sleep since the exit light came on!"

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

'As you can see, it's too late for a termination...Baby is capable of surviving outside the womb...'

Downloading Pregnancy

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

'He's more supportive after his nap.'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

"'Routine examination' were the only two words in the doctor's mind when he placed the stethoscope on..."

"All this stuff? I'm meeting for two now."

'I've had some strange cravings during my pregnancy. Such as the one to strangle my husband.'

"It's a Facebook Friend Request."

"It's quiet in here. I suppose it's off the popular tourist route!"

Pregnancy and Laptops

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

Fortune teller predicts a bigger family for worried parents.

"Yeah, I'll be glad when the baby is born: This is really affecting my balance..."

'What? Didn't your parents ever tell you who delivers babies???'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Break Water'

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'Baby trying to break out'

'That's the most extreme linear nigra I've ever seen!!'

'I love my obstetrician! He brings out the kid in me!'

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies: 'I'm a fully qualified puppeteer!'

'Well there hasn't been a ring yet! But he did say that we were going to look at bridle wear - so, I know what that means. . . he loves me, Joanne.'

'Which health plan are you on?'

"Oh, oh!!"

Pregnant Women buy Clown Clothes because they fit.

How humans are born.

Everything looks so good

'I encourage natural childbirth - gently coaxing the baby into the world. If that fails, I go with brute force and intimidation.'

"You shouldn't try for enlightenment if you are pregnant or may become pregnant."

'I wish you'd stop blaming me for the long pregrancy...'

"You were meant to give birth six days ago, so I've called in an expert to help!"