Expat Humorists Pillows

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

"My guess it's guacamole."

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

"Okay, ha ha, now seriously...Where's the rest of the nuts?"

'I'm just here on a lay-over.'

'Looks like this part of the beach has been claimed.'

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

After purchasing a smartphone with advanced GPS, Mitch pinpoints his current location and realizes that within the past 25 years he had never really moved one inch in either direction.

"Anyone else would have ship wrecked us on a south seas island."

Newton discovers surrealism

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

Business acquaintances on holiday

Lie detector, "It's a goddam liar bird all right."

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

"The most common adverse vaccine reaction after the first dose is trying to get the second dose."

Robot porn.

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

Eggs That Were Anagarms In Past Lives -'Unscramble Me'.

Born Cynical,,,,

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

'I sculpt what I see, Miss Delsey.'

People Holidaying in the Highlands

Self-Help Books / Fixing Others.

"His schlock has gravitas."

'We're having the whole place done over in pistachio!'