Executive Management Gifts

'Now that we all agree on the agenda, a show of hands on how many want to keep it hidden.'

"Now that you are all my little drones, I encourage you to speak my mind."

'Let's make this a short meeting. I know we all have expensive homes to go to.'

'He's a Drunk-With-Power drunk...the worst kind!'

"Do you have anything for grey, hairs, experience and wisdom?"

"We can't offer you a golden parachute, however we do offer a very attractive escape hatch."

CEO (Out to lunch).

"Wait a minute!! First call my boss and tell him that I'm going to miss the meeting! Then call the ambulance!"

Security at executive staff meeting.

'It's lonely at the top unless you count lawyers.'

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Where your mind & battle are los

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Businesswoman Empowerment

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"This position has become very important to the company."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."